What I've realized.

Ok. Well the last two entries have been kind of depressing. So I figured I'd switch it up some. This past week has been the hardest week so of my life so far. I've never felt so many emotions at one time. I have REALLLLLLLLY been searching for understanding, praying for patience, and begging for answers. And, I finally got a little of all of that.

Proverbs 2:1-11 says: "My son, if you accept my words and store up my commnads within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for siver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store fore the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blamelss, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and fair-every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Descretion will portect you, and understanding will guard you."

Proverbs 3:7 "Do not be wise in your own eyes"

Proverbs 4:6-9 "Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor."

Psalm 107:13 "Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress."

Psalm 77:1-12

Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

Psalm 37:8-9 "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land."

So why have I been freaking out so bad? Well duh, I'm hurting. But I've been BEGGING for hope. But there ISSSS hope!!!! Hope for me. If God brings him back to me then GREAT. If he doesn't then there is OBVIOUSLY a bigger and better plan for my life. There is SOMEONE, whoever he may be, that is 100% for ME. I WILL be happy again. Either way. That is His promise to me. I WILLLLLLL be happy. I'm trusting God now. He has got my attention 100%. I give this heartache, this grief, this anger, sadness, love... I give it ALL to Him. Because I can not see the future. As hard as I may try... God knows the plan; He knows the life he has laid out for me. I'm just along for the ride.

I hope that if anyone is really reading this that you get from my entries that God is here. He is HERE. Do not EVER for ONE SECOND believe that He has left you, or that he does not care for you. He will not EVER leave you. EVER. He will never do anything to you that you cant handle. He loves you. You think your Mom and Dad love you? Your brothers and sisters? Your boyfriend? Girlfriend? Well let me tell you that their love for YOU has NOTHING on the love God has for you. HE is your bestfriend.

Come talk to me. Anyone. If you are interested in hearing about My God, my bestfriend. Come talk to me.

Today will be a great day. No matter how hard things get, I've got everything I really need.