Isn't it Crazy

Isn't it crazy how a devotional book can relate SOOOO much to the things you are going through at the same dates that the devotions are assigned to???? I think so.... I don't know if it's like that with everyone else's devotional books but it has been for mine over the last year or more. (I'm reading Sarah Young's "Jesus Calling")
I'm learning sooo much from this book, and from the quiet times I've been having. But I do have to express some frustrations I'm having with myself at the moment:

Why is it that you can sit down, have quiet time, read/learn/pray, and feel SO much better about things, but as the day goes on... I start to struggle with those bad/anxious/nervous/worried feelings alllll over again?!?!??! I HATE that. I want to feel super close to God allll day.

Anyway, back to this:

It seems that God knows (which I know, he knows....) every struggle I'm going to be facing on a daily basis and he just breathes the words RIGHT into my devotion for the day!
I've been trying to constantly remind myself that God has things under control and that the plan for certain things in my life is already set, and I can't do anything about it. And two days ago this line JUMPED out at me as I was reading:
"Look for areas where you need to let go, leaving your cares in My able hands. Do you trust ME to orchestrate your life events as I choose, or are you still trying to make things go according to your will?"

As I read this I was thinking....'HOW DID YOU KNOW!??!?!??!" haha.

1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your ANXIETY on him because he cares for you."

1 Thessolonians 5:18 "...give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

I dont really know where I am trying to go with this post. All I know is that I am SO thankful to have a God who loves me unconditionally and for exactly who I am. Why? Because he made me that way. He doesnt see me for my flaws or constantly point them out or judge me for them. He embraces me, and teaches me and guides me to make me better for His sake. I am here to spread HIS love and HIS word. I am so thankful to have a God that I can praise freely and openly and joyfully. I am so rediculously thankful.

I am just feeling so good right now. So much closer to God again.

Matthew 6:34

A lot has happened in the past few months. About two months ago I moved to live with my mom in Swansboro, NC (which is ab 7 hrs away from Spartanburg). I had to leave my apartment,my boyfriend, my friends, my jobs, etc. Unfortunately I moved sooner than I wanted to, and I had no time to mentally/emotionally prepare myself for such a big change.

The past two months have been far from easy. I have struggled in more ways than one. It has been a crazy ride of feeling alone, sad, worried, having lack of trust, feeling like I'm losing things that are SUPER important to me, and other things. During this whole struggle I have had trouble reminding myself that I am NOT alone in this. That God is right here beside me every second of EVERY day. When I DO remind myself of this and crack open my Bible/Devotional book I can SEE God's love, mercy, friendship, guidance, power, strength, and everything else good pouring out over me.

I have been struggling soooo much in my relationship with my boyfriend. I have become SO wrapped up in the thought that he will be gone pretty much for the next TWO YEARS that I have scared myself into believing that he is not going to love me anymore, that things wont work out, and that he will change and leave me. And because I have started thinking all of these things I have tainted my relationship. I have driven not only myself but also my boyfriend nuts! THANKFULLY God blessed me with a patient, loving, understanding, strong, caring, and confident man. I have recently come to the realization that there is nothing I can do in this struggle other than rely on God. I have to TRUST God, because he is the only one who knows how this is going to turn out. I have had to remind and remind and remind myself that GOD is in control of this. He is in control of EVERY aspect of my life.

Matthew 6:34
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." <-- I've always felt that the verse BEFORE this one should have come AFTER it... so I'm just going to add it now. "But seek FIRST his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

I was introduced to this verse, ironically, when I first met Ben. I was flipping through this Bible, trying to get a feel for his faith and his favorite verses and what not, and this verse was underlined and starred. This verse has been the one that has gotten me through a lot of this relationship. God has laid a perfectly planned out path before me. I look back and see so many ways that he prepared me for the journey I have been on with Ben. We have both taught each other/and learned so much from each other. For that, I am ETERNALLY greatful. Whether this journey is meant to be temporary or permanent, I am making a PROMISE to enjoy EVERY second of it.

My God is SO good, so amazing, so wonderful, merciful, kind, just, all knowing, etc and why in the WORLD would I choose to NOT trust him!!??!?!