He Gives and Takes Away

Last night something terrible happened in my life. Something I never saw coming. I am choosing to not be specific and please dont ask what exactly it is, but God is showing me SO much through my pain, and through my love for another.

God IS in control. He can take the most precious things right from underneath you and he wont hesitate in doing it if he feels he needs to. Sometimes we put things before God, and this is NOT ok. For a few years I have taken one particular thing that I love and felt more for it, cared more for it, and did more for it than I ever did with God. And in the past few WEEKS as I have started growing closer and closer to God through his word and others and then he decided to say to me, "I am taking this thing that you love more than anything else in the world from you b/c you cherish it more than you cherish Me. You have put it equal with Me and I need to show you that I come before ALL things. Even the most precious in your own eyes."

At first I was angry at God. I felt betrayed by him. I thought, "How could you do this to me? How could you do this NOW. Now that I was growing so near to you. I was growing so near and you do this to me? WHY?" Something that I struggle with most is patience. I have NEVER been a patient person. When I want something I have to have it right then. It drives me crazy. Through this trial/struggle/heartache I hope to gain patience and perseverance.

James 1:2-5 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, becasue you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

I am struggling. My faith is being tested, and I SOMEHOW have to find joy in my suffering. Why? B/c other people will leave you, bad things will happen, but GOD will never leave you and he will never harm you. God will work us through this. We will be made stronger and more beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. This I know for sure. And God may or may not bring back this thing that I love so much. I am hoping and praying and trusting that he will. I feel confident that he will.

Pray for me. I know this doesnt give you much to go on, but please, pray for me. And pray for the others involved in this situation. Pray that we find rest, comfort, peace, wisdom, etc. We will get through this. We will. Have faith.

"The Lord is near to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit." -PS 34:18

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in ALL our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." -2 Corinthians 1:3-5